dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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