Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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