so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
