Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
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Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
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I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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