it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
