naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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