Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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