remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I met the friendliest cop last night
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
