you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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