I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
