i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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