I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
