I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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