Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
