I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize