im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize