do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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