i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
