he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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