We're facebook friends in real life
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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