She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
