And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
