Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
