When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
