I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
