When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
