this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
