barbara walters just said penis...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
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If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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