the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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