I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i think i just lost a toe
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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