How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
