Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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