that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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