I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
