We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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