Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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