I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
