Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
