Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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