Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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