i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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