I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We need to feng shui this bitch.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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