The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
