May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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