We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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