So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
