sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
