ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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