He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
