You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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