Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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