It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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