here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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