Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
