Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
