it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
