Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.