and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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